A Mother's Secret Dread

Remember that show, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? If I were a contestant, I would definitely leave without any cash and prizes!


My two youngest children are in fifth grade. They are the only ones who still ask me for help on homework. I dread it. The questions. Did I ever know the answers to these questions?

What is 16 divided by one half? If you're thinking 8, you're wrong. It's actually 32. What?!? I had to get my high school son to refresh my memory on just why that's true. Needless to say he was delighted to make me feel good about myself.

Does anyone else cringe and die a little inside when they hear their child say they need help with homework? Oh no, please let it be something like history or English. Oh please, don't let it be science or math. And why, do they always have hard homework when dad is traveling?

I have a master's degree, but I would not be able to pass fifth grade science. 

Is steam a gas? I think so, but don't ask me to explain why. Does air have mass? Yes? Maybe? Is the amount of matter something has called mass? Sounds plausible, but I really have no idea.

Of course, this turn of events has my children dripping with condescension as they spout off the answers to these questions and more. They threaten to tell their teacher mom got the answer wrong. They announce it with great fanfare to whoever will listen.

Remember that math problem I asked you earlier? When I asked my college age daughter, her first thought was 8, too. After hearing the explanation though, she said, I'm sooo glad I'm all done with math. I didn't tell her that she'll be forced to relive all her math lessons as a mom!

How about you? Do you fear the homework grind? Please tell me I'm not the only one who can't remember the difference between matter and mass!




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24 comments:

  1. Gentle JoyJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:41 AM

    Funny!!! I am a homeschool mom and I learn things and re-learn things constantly.... and sometimes I ask one of the kids to wait until Dad gets home to help with Algebra... sigh.... then again, my husband is so impressed by something I know... or taught the kids. :) Learning is so constant...and exciting, but when you haven't looked at a subject for a while, we lose some of what we learned. Thank you for sharing your fun post. :)

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    1. normaleverydaylifeJanuary 24, 2015 at 6:53 PM

      I'm glad I'm not the only one who looks to Dad for math help! ;)

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  2. Living In This SeasonJanuary 20, 2015 at 11:24 AM

    I am the same way! My oldest is in kindergarten and I don't know what I'll do once homework is harder! Thanks for linking with Tuesday Talk!

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  3. Kim CarberryJanuary 20, 2015 at 12:50 PM

    I dread it when my eldest brings homework home.....It doesn't help the schools have changed how they do the working out for maths....So different from when I was at school x

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    1. normaleverydaylifeJanuary 24, 2015 at 6:58 PM

      Much different, Kim! The kids don't understand my explanations and I don't understand theirs!

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  4. Simply Suzannes at HomeJanuary 20, 2015 at 9:53 PM

    Lol!
    I'm great at history and English, but terrible at math! Thankfully, my husband is a math wiz, so that will help when our kids ask for help with algebra and other math subjects :0)
    I hope you're all feeling better . . . and back to normal!
    Suzanne

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    1. normaleverydaylifeJanuary 24, 2015 at 6:58 PM

      Thanks, Suzanne! Everyone is back to normal here and I'm thankful! :)

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  5. Jenny EvansJanuary 21, 2015 at 2:29 AM

    This was hilarious! When my kids started bringing home homework for school, I knew I'd someday reach a point when I didn't know the answer. I just wasn't prepared for it to happen when they were in elementary school!

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  6. AnonymousJanuary 21, 2015 at 9:46 AM

    I am so happy to be over this phase with my grown-up daughters... I don't miss any of it! You'd think as the twins have older siblings they could pester them instead!

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  7. LanaJanuary 21, 2015 at 1:29 PM

    I'm constantly surprised at all the things I've forgotten! Luckily I'm past the helping with homework stage, because I'm no help!

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  8. UnknownJanuary 21, 2015 at 4:03 PM

    Oh.My.Word. That strikes the fear right into my heart Marie! I was rubbish at maths and science the first time round when I had someone explaining it all to me so, even with a masters degree, I know I will be exactly the same as you! And why is 16 divided by one half 32??? That makes zero sense to me. Must be semantics ;-) X Thanks so much for linking up to #thetruthabout Xx

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    1. normaleverydaylifeJanuary 24, 2015 at 7:18 PM

      It is semantics. 16 divided by 2 would be eight. Tricky!

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  9. UnknownJanuary 21, 2015 at 9:23 PM

    Oh too funny!

    I find with homeschooling, I'm learning with my daughter and scratching my head sometimes! Schooling is different now... really different.

    That math problem had me stumped for a while.

    Thanks for sharing!
    xoxo

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    1. UnknownJanuary 22, 2015 at 3:14 PM

      I loved this and I'm tickled that you shared it at the #SHINEbloghop!

      Wishing you a lovely day.
      xoxo

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  10. AnonymousJanuary 22, 2015 at 1:21 PM

    Oh no! Not what I wanted to hear! I was terrible at math and science all through school and college. Luckily my husband is pretty smart in those two subjects, so hopefully he'll be able to help with those subjects. He'll be our only hope! :)

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  11. UnknownJanuary 23, 2015 at 2:59 AM

    So glad I'm not the only one! I became unable to help with my children's maths homework when they got to the final year of primary school. My son is now bringing maths homework home that I do not understand I quite honestly, never remember doing in school! Admittedly he's very good at maths but seriously!

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  12. UnknownJanuary 23, 2015 at 7:42 AM

    Yikes. This fills me with dread! I hated maths at school and am cringing at the thought of reliving the tricky moments of my youth when my son gets to homework age. Ekkkk, that'll have to be my husband's job... Great post. #thetruthabout

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    1. normaleverydaylifeJanuary 24, 2015 at 7:19 PM

      I say let your husband handle it as long as he can! :)

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  13. UnknownJanuary 24, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    With common core math I do indeed cringe. Really hard to follow process of solving the math problems sometimes when so different than way I learned.

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    1. normaleverydaylifeJanuary 24, 2015 at 7:08 PM

      That's exactly where I lose it too. Now there are new approaches and much more explanation needed when you write down an answer. They need to send home a cheat sheet for parents! :)

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  14. The Common MomJanuary 24, 2015 at 4:41 PM

    Ha! I couldn't agree with you more! Fifth grade math is seems to be beyond my skill set and it's probably just going to get worse. When she does have questions I can't help with we usually turn to Khan Academy - which I'm very grateful for.

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  15. Susan January 26, 2015 at 9:33 AM

    Oh, I do hear you! I somehow ended up helping with accelerated math when my kids were in 5th grade - and was lost a LOT of the time! An A in college calculus does NOT translate to being math proficient decades after much math has been used! Now I panic when I just have to figure out a tip ;)

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  16. BritishMumUSAJanuary 27, 2015 at 12:02 PM

    Coming from England/London and going through K~12 with one and 6th grade with the other, it has been an eye opener. History was a really big eye opener :)

    I ask the 6th grader what she needs help with, have her work on something else and quickly read up on what she needs help with so that I can direct her in the right direction.

    I am the expert on the grade at hand, all other information I was an expert in has gone by the way side. I learn it, regurgitate it, and discard it. Sad, but true. Some things as they have come up, I am quicker at as this is the second time around....

    Good luck with your 5th graders!!!!!

    xoxoxo

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