How Much is Too Much and Who Decides?

Have you seen this article, Parenting as a Gen Xer: We're the first generation of parents in the age of iEverything? It's just too good not to share. Alison Slater Tate writes that we are the last generation that had a technology free childhood and we're the first generation to raise children that have never known anything other than a world with Google at their fingertips and screens galore. So true! No wonder I struggle to find balance and parenting direction in this area.

It seems everywhere I look, I'm pressured to limit screen time, cautioned to keep my kids from their phones, or told I'm potentially failing as a parent if I use the Internet too much in front of them. 

On the other hand, I'm told my kids need to stay up to date on technology and that I need to provide experience on computers. Even our local elementary school includes a lot of technology in the classroom. It's a natural part of the environment they're growing up in.

My youngest FaceTiming before school.

Tate's article also points out that we're the generation that has the task of bridging the technology gap between our baby boomer parents and our kids. Many grandparents question why their grandchildren are often connected to a screen. Why are they on it so much? Are they addicted? Many grandchildren can't understand how their grandparents live without wifi and smart phones. How can they stand it? Aren't they bored? Tate admits that...

When it comes to parenting, I find this middle place extremely uncomfortable, because I know what childhood and adolescence were like before the Internet, and my parenting models all came from that era.

I agree with Tate. I can understand the perspectives of both my parents and my children when it comes to technology. Sometimes I want to get rid of all of it and sometimes I find myself caught up in the hype of the new iphone! Twitter, Instagram and FaceTime may always feel a little stilted to me, but they're as natural as breathing for my kids.

My children are growing up communicating differently than I did and with much more access to information and the world around them. Unless I move them to a deserted island, I'll continue to have to walk the the fine line, or more realistically the wavy line, trying to figure out how much is too much. In the end, my goal is to teach my kids to use the internet and social media responsibly. 

It was comforting to me to read Tate's concluding words...

The truth is, my generation of parents are pioneers here, like it or not. We’re the last of the Mohicans. We can try as hard as we want to push back and to carve space into our children’s lives for treehouses and puzzles and Waldorf-style dolls, but in the end, our children will grow up with the whole world at their fingertips, courtesy of a touch screen, and they will have to learn how to find the balance between their cyber and real worlds. It is scary. I don’t think I even believe there is a “right way” to parent with technology. But acknowledging that what we are doing is unprecedented – that no study yet knows exactly what this iChildhood will look like when our children are full grown people – feels like an exhale of sorts.

How about you? Have you struggled finding a balance with your kids and technology? Do you feel torn in different directions like I do?