Removing Our Masks

                                                                                                                      

I had an amazing experience this weekend. It's one that I fought. One that I had to make myself do.

My friend, Aly from One Day Lighter, invited five women over to her home, prepared us a light meal, and offered us one of the greatest gifts...the chance to be ourselves. 

I don't know about you, but I can get bogged down with trying to be someone I'm not. Trying to feel things that I don't. Trying to complete things I only started out of guilt.

I can get caught up in my own little world and not feel like making time for people outside my family. Or I tell myself that as soon as x, y, and z are finished, then I'll make the time.

Before I went on Saturday, I was tempted to cancel. I'd been away at my daughter's college orientation the previous two days and felt mentally drained. Then, when I got back, I fought with my husband over stupid things right up until the time I left for this gathering. My house was a wreck from being gone, I was tired, and summer home with five kids had been taking its toll.

All I really wanted was to lay on the couch in a quiet house and collapse. Just do nothing. I thought that might rejuvenate me. 

Let me tell you, talking honestly, sharing our hearts and laughing together, refreshed me more than a thousand hours of sleep could have done.

At first, it was all pretty. Pretty words, pretty sentiments. Small talk about small things. But then real people showed up. Honesty moved to the forefront and we took our masks off for a little while. Because none of us is renewed by superficial. None of us feels any better after small talk. No one is refreshed by keeping up appearances.

If you're honest when talking to others, it's like an avalanche. It gives them permission to be honest and you all end up feeling better. I was comforted to be reminded: none of us has it all together, everyone gets tired of mothering, it's okay to say no and not feel guilty about it, and everyone craves some time by themselves. Whatever your deal is, there are other people that can relate!

Connecting with people in a meaningful way isn't likely to happen in passing. Most of the places we go it would be awkward to truly share what's going on in our lives. But with friends, with other people walking the same road you are, it's great to be able to say what you really think.

I'm encouraging you today to make the time for connections.  Accept that invitation for coffee, go out to lunch with a friend, attend that party, even if it will mean rearranging your schedule or setting aside the never-ending demands of home for a little while. Be yourself, open up and share. You'll be refreshed and your presence will lift someone else up, too!